McDonald's Vollyball Team!

Let's go McDonald's, let's go! Hurrah!

I went to play volleyball today with all of my co-workers, along with several other McDonald's stores across our state! :D We played against each other until we had the teams lined up in order of performance! Then the winning teams played against each other, it was a blast! :D Today, I almost completely forgot my problems, it was so refreshing, I almost wanted to cry when it ended, it was too much fun! My team made fourth place in the finals and we received a cash reward of $5 each! The 1st place team received $20 for each team mate! So, for almost 4 hours, I ran, jumped, and got sand everywhere in my clothes, and had a wonderful time with friends! When I got home, I wished it could have lasted longer, it would have eased everything, and in many ways it did. I was reminded once again of how much I am blessed in my life! I love the fact that summer is really here for a while! :D Hope you are still enjoying reading my blog, and keep up with commenting! :D Thanks!

Shotgun girl is a lifeguard!

This is just a random picture of me! :P I have just started lifeguarding again, and I love it! Its so much fun, no matter if people come to swim or not, cause we lifeguards love to laugh and talk for hours! :D I have friends every where at work! Being a lifeguard is a responsibility, one I greatly enjoy, feeling both important and humbled by the task of guarding the lives of other peoples children and family members. Today I went swimming with a friend before going on duty, it was great! Even though it was raining and cold out, the water was wonderfully warm! :) After break sounded, I quickly showered and went on duty, but never did get to guard anyone cause it got colder and no one was crazy enough to jump in! LOL! So we left the pool open for a couple hours and played cards and laughed, it was great, even though it did get boring at the end! Work doesn't mean no fun, but it does mean responsibility! Even though the love of other people may fail me, God will never stop loving me, no matter what!

I wonder why God chose to bless me so much when I have been so ungrateful. My mind has been full of my suffering, but now I see truly how much I am loved by my heavenly Father!

Summer has begun!

So let's strip down to nothing and go swimming to cool off! :D This summer promises so much! Just looking at the next couple of weeks, I will be so busy with my two jobs, and my summer activities! So many things have changed in the last few years. I personally don't feel like I have changed, which probably isn't a good thing.....but I feel that God really does have a calling on my life. I have yet to find out what that calling is, but as I continue to work at earning my college fund, I feel a peace about the future! My whole family is looking forward to this summer, we all feel ready for some fun! The pool has opened, school is over, friends are free to play, and there is a ton of work to do! Some fun! :D :P lol! I know I probably won't get as much free time as usual cause I will be working so much! But I thank God for what he has done, even with the sad things that have happened in the last year, I still praise him for everything else he has done! I pray one day to be able to completely leave my depression behind, and turn over a new leaf! I still cry over what happened, I know now for sure that I will never ever forget what happened! I am looking forward to the trips we will take this summer, and the fun activities that are planned for this year! :D Oh wonderful, wonderful summer! :D

Going the extra mile!

With the summer weather kicking in, its time to get motivated! Last year, I was really getting into working out, and becoming in shape. Now, with a new year, I will once again charge the mountain! I love bike riding, and my work position provides a perfect excuse to bike. I live nine miles away from my job at McDonald's, and a block away from my job as a life guard at the pool. Today, I am going to bike to work for the first time this year! I am so looking forward to this chance at biking long distances. 9 miles is a nice workout, and it helps to keep you healthy and fit! When I first started biking to work, I lost 8 pounds in one week! Its a great feeling, and actually, working out gives you energy, instead of taking it away, as long as you don't over do it! So today, I will bike 18 miles, to work and back! I am really looking forward to this whole new venture. Its so great to be out in God creation, having some time of peace before working indoors! I strongly encourage people, for them to pick some form of exercise to do for the rest of the year. Not only will you become more fit, but your attitude will change as well. Wish me luck my first day of starting this after a whole winter of being cooped up indoors! I feel the joy of the season, and the joy of God filling me with peace about this year, even though this year has already turn out quite hard for me to deal with, I find myself still looking forward to it! It will be harder for me to get a chance to post in this blog as the summer season takes my train of thought away from my quiet life of winter time. I intend to keep in touch with all of my friends this year, so if you're a friend, and your reading this, feel special, cause I'll be a hard person to catch this year! :P :D God Bless you all, and have a great summer! <3>

Beautiful Life!

I think we all have experienced those crazy days when we wonder why we even try to make it through every day life. But, we must awaken to the fact, that we each have something to be thankful for!

I know, life sometimes stinks, but we would be lying to say we don't love this life we live in! In my life, I am surrounded by children's laughter, screaming, crying, and fighting. I am surrounded by papers, schedules, and work hours. My life is full; my future running before me with no apparent end. I love my siblings, all of them are adorable, and unique in their own special way! They all have their special talents, their special smiles, their special dimples, and their special hugs! I have several friends, girl and boy alike. I love everyone of them, far or near, they are all dear to me! The times I get a chance to be with them, are more special to me than the long school breaks, or the fishing trips with grandpa, I would rather be with them! :) I have two really good jobs, in which I am loved and respected by almost everyone. God couldn't have picked a more undeserving soul than myself! In the midst of my suffering, I am blessed! Thank you God for the beautiful life you have given me! Once again I can see love shining through my life....what more could I want! As the key chain says that was given to me as a birthday gift, it explains my life well; Life is a journey, God is my guide; we travel safely together, side by side! <3

I Turn Back to Him!

Have you ever had that old serpent, the Devil around your neck trying to get you to turn your face from your Saviour?! I can say that after the trial I went through, my face was not looking to God, but at my broken heart, and life problems. I have just returned to Him and his Word, no longer the strong confident girl I thought I was, but a beaten, weak and broken soul. I have cried many a tear, and tossed and turned many nights over my sorry plight. I can say this, I have learned that feeling sorry for yourself is not something to invest your time and strength into. Instead, when life's ride gets bumpy, look toward God. He is the only one who knows your every thought, your every question, your every struggle. Our human mind cannot fathom God's love for us, or what he does everyday just to get our much desired attention. God desires our love like the groom desires his bride! We are the bride of Christ.....let's start acting like we are the bride, instead of the wedding coordinator, who has the very weight of the world on his or her shoulders! I would not recommend anyone to walk the path I have been walking the past few days. If you are already walking the path of self pity, GET OFF OF IT! Looking at my life, I am still so blessed by God, I wonder that God didn't say to me, " Hey, look at all this, then tell me to my face that I have let you down!" I have gone back to Him, and He has welcomed His lost child with open arms and overflowing love! I feel God's joy re-entering my heart, I feel once more fulfilled! Yes, I still ask, "Why did this have to happen, Lord?" But I may never know. God only knows why this had to happened to me. I have a big family, many friends, and a God who loves me! What more do I possibly need?! Not to mention I have two great paying jobs! God has blessed me more than I deserve! I love Him with all my heart! Thank you God for all you have done for me!
Now, don't get me wrong, life is going to be bumpy whether God is in your life or not, but your future is secure in His care! Accept Him, repent and ask Him to come in to your heart, and He will give you the joy of salvation! Thanks for reading! God bless you!

Late Night Surprise!

Being a young teen, I am still under my parent's authority. So when it comes time to go to bed, you get a hug and a kiss from the parent's and are sent to bed, knowing in your mind that Mom and Dad want you to be in bed so they can watch their late night movie together. Well, last night, my dad was at work, and my mom was watching a movie by herself. We had been sent to bed on time, tucked in, and light off. I turned on my book light, to read briefly from two of my books. I then turned on my ipod and nestled under my covers for a peaceful night sleep. Well, I had been sleeping for about an hour, when all of a sudden, my cell goes off, and its one of my friends from work! :O I said, "Hi?" in a groggy voice, and my friend says, " Guess what?!" I am right outside your house, and we want you to come outside and say hi!" Just to let you in on something, it was 11:30 at night when he called! His girlfriend was back from college for a little bit, and she and I were good friends and she wanted to see me really bad! So I go upstairs, and say to my mom, " Mom, I know this is going to sound weird, but a bunch of my friends from work are right outside our house, and they want me to come out and say hi! Would you mind if I went out?" She surprised me by saying sure....so out I went (in my pj's!) to go give hugs and talk for a bit. I ended up talking for a half an hour with them. By the time I got back in bed it was after midnight! What a night! I'll tell you I slept really well for the rest of the night! LOL!

Church Youth Program

This Saturday I am going to a church youth program! I am really looking forward to it! :D I don't know for sure what all we are going to do, but I do know that we are having homemade pizza for the food! Awesome!

In this picture, I have my softball and glove. I don't often play ball, but when I do get a chance, I really enjoy it! I am continuing to work at McDonald's, I am very busy! I just had a lifeguard meeting for the pool, sounds like this is going to be quite a summer! We also are finishing painting our big girls bedroom! It's pinkish purple! Quite a color, I know! I am looking forward to when it's all done and I can sleep in my own lofted bed again! Aw, I'll sleep really good then! :)

Well, this has turned out to be a varied post, and probably the shortest post I have written! lol I hope you are enjoy reading my blog, and that you will continue to visit! God Bless!

My busy future!

I am your typical teen, and as I near graduation and college, my laid back days are becoming few and far between.

This summer is going to be one busy ride for me. I don't think my brain can even calculate how hard I will be working. I now have two jobs, I work part time as a Crew Trainer at the local McDonald's. Now, as the season of summer comes into play, I will be guarding the lives of young swimmers as they try to cool off during this hot summer. I must admit, up until now, I have had little to no self motivation. I feel weak. The hard times I have been going through haven't helped me get my head cleared up. I don't know what to do.

I will be flipping burgers like crazy as this busy summer season starts, and I will be getting a sunburn up in the "Big bad guard chair".

I am also working on getting ready for graduation this next year (as if you can be ready for graduation). I am nervous, wondering if I'll make it! Now, to top it all off, my dad found a college I would be able to afford.....cool right?! Well, in a way, yes. But in another way, it just shows me how much responsibility I am going to have in my court.

This will be worse than "regular life" cause I have never had so much responsibility as I will have this summer and next year with upcoming graduation.

Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better just to start my life over, with full knowledge of my "first try" and this time I would be prepared and nothing that happened to me will happen this time. How I wish I could do that! I know for sure I would have a relationship with my family that would be three times better than the one I have now, and none of my friends would have been hurt by my own stupidity and stubborn mind.

I praise God for saving me from myself, without him I would have given into my selfish impulses a long time ago, and would probably be in foster care. Yeah, I admit I am a selfish, proud person by nature, and at times these sides of me show through......I just wish they didn't cover up the one I am trying to shine through me with my life. I am not proud of myself......any more that is. I wish God would show me what will happen next, I feel like a kid who knows her parents are planning something for her birthday but she doesn't know what it is cause her parents are giving her the "silent treatment". I wonder what God thinks of me, is he proud of this child?! Is he proud of how she treats her earthly parents?! Does he think she still needs more work than is possible to put into one human being?! All this, and more goes through my mind all day and night, often times my mind is so full of questions, most of which I am afraid to ask about, that I don't get much sleep.

I think I now see myself as my parents and some of my closer friends see me, a selfish child who is too young for the mature world. That means marriage is way out of my league, right?! I don't even know why I long for marriage and a family, except for the fact I wish for love and care and serving that which is worth serving. But, I know very well I can be fulfilled in Christ, but he seems so far away since my trial, and its probably cause I haven't allowed him to help, thinking, "I can tough it out, I am good! "

I wonder at God's love, its so unlike any other love, if I was supposed to love someone like me, I would probably give up on myself! Why hasn't God given up?! The only answer is that he loves me more than any human ever could! It makes me cry to think, he really loves me, he is willing to die for me.....do I deserve this?! NO, I DON'T! After all of my mistakes, and sins, why is he so willing to throw them over the side, instead of rubbing it in my proud face, as I really deserve?! I pray God brings me to my senses, I need to be wise and understanding in order to live through this summer, and I don't feel nearly ready enough. God help me follow the path of the future you have lovingly and carefully laid at my feet. Walk with me God, into my future!

Healing

Ever wiped out on your bike and scraped yourself up pretty bad? It takes a little bit for it to heal, even if your mom is being a really good doctor. And afterwards, you sometimes have a scar to remind you of your accident.

Well, it's the same with emotional scrapes, they often leave scars in our minds, and we will never fully forget them.

I can say that this hard trial has left a mental wound, and it is still wide open, and it hurts deeply. It has been hard to move on, and I find myself replaying every part of the trial in my mind at night, instead of getting the much needed rest.

I admit, my mind has been absent, and for the first few days, my devotions where neglected. Now, as I pick them up, and what I have left in my life, trying to start afresh, I realize how much God wants my attention.

How do we heal? How do we start over? Well, without God, we will never fully start over the way we should, which could damage our future. God cares, and he wants to help pick us up and help us get our fresh start in life, with him at the center of it! I still don't have the answers I want as far as why this trial had to happen in the midst of something important to me. But I have given it to God. I no longer have any hope to cling to, which I suppose, will help me move on, but never forget. I have stored all my memories from this, and I will remember my friend and trial, with sweet memories of the good times within the short amount of time when I was really really happy! :) I still smile with fondness at the experience and friendship I had, it is an unforgettable moment in my life, a hard healing memory!

Losing my Best Friend

Have you ever lost a best friend? I have just lost mine. Yesterday I cried harder than I ever have before in a long time. This has never happened to me before, especially with someone I loved and cared about. It hurts more than words can express. We have parted ways, and we will probably never speak to or see each other again.

I don't understand why this had to happen, tears come to my eyes every time I think about it. Again, I find myself wanting to scream to the heavens, WHY?! Why me?! ;(

I enjoyed our friendship more than anything else on earth, and wouldn't trade the time I spent with that person for anything on earth.

In a way, our parting was bittersweet, both of us know we will never forget each other. My mother told me, that allowing myself to love, I opened myself up to pain. It hurts to love, and it hurts even more to part forever.

I sincerely wish my friend every happiness in the world, that God would bless that person with everything good on earth. I will see my friend again, in God's holy presence, in our true home with our heavenly Father.

Missions Trip

My dad has been speaking to me of the possibility that God might have a calling on my life to be a servant of him. My dad also says he is going to send me on a missions trip to another land!

My first reaction to this is excitement on the prospect of being able to see the world! My second reaction, is a feeling of honor and grace, that God might have choosen me for a lifetime of serving him on earth!

I pray that God provides me with a help mate, cause I yearn for a family like I yearn for God's will in my life. I am excited. I am nearing my last year of high school, and I am growing in the Word. I must say I am very unaware of the world, there is very little that I know, outside of the things I have been taught, or have taught myself.

Life is not an easy road in and of itself, but when it comes down to life and death, people choose life. So I to will choose life, living in the word and presence of God.

My trials which rage against me makes it difficult to love the Lord like a should, I feel trapped in my problems. I pray God will save me from more heartache, that may come from this trial which I am going though right now. And I pray that God does choose me to be his instrument! I would rather be a servant of Christ, then spend the rest of my life in a career. I hope that if God's will is that I stay single so as to better serve him, I pray he will help me accept his will for my life, and that he will protect me from the wickedness of this world! Let me run with perseverance the race that is set before me!