An Honest Assessment

What do I mean by an honest assessment? Well, what do you think about yourself? You think your a "good person", good looking, loved by everyone, or a perfect example maybe?
Well, I am not out to get your honest assessment, but I am out to get mine. What you think about yourself will eventually tell you where you really stand.
Over the past several months, I finally see myself for what I am! I am selfish, I love conditionally, I am a lier, I am a murder at heart, I am very proud, I dishonor my parents, I am not worthy of respect or love, and thus I am rejected.
I have failed in so many ways, and yet my family, and my God still love me.....why? I don't deserve anything that I have, I have abused everything so badly! My friends still love me, but they don't know the truth about who I really am. I am a dirty, ugly sinner! I am fighting to get rid of my regard for myself, no one likes a proud person. If anyone that I have harmed in the past reads this, I am sorry, so so sorry about all I have done, and I hope one day you will forgive me! Give me another chance my family, my friends, my God! I don't want to go down, I want to prove with God's help that I am his, and he is mine! God help me die to myself, and give me a new body! Thank you for reading and God bless!