Missing someone

Have you ever tried to forget something you considered bad, or something you considered good, or forget someone that used to be ever so special to you, that is still special no matter how hard you try to forget?!
I find the past comes knocking when life is at the height of stress and the tiredness of the soul. I have fought in vain, memories of lost loved ones, but to no avail! I can still see those people as clearly as the sun rising in the morning and setting in the evening, and I pray everyday that God would make it all a bad dream, or that God would turn it all around, and cause conviction and faith of the Lord to make it beautiful again.
Not even all of these lost ones are dead, but are supposed to be dead to me, as I will never see them again. The pain I feel at losing a friend, or a family member, is something that causes me to go away into my own thoughts, where I don't have to try to hide my pain anymore.
2 and a half years ago, I lost 3 family members all within 3 months, the funerals opened my eyes to how unfair life really is, it is never going to be easy. The very next year after these funerals, I lost 2 of my loved friends with in a week, saying good bye was the hardest thing I have ever done.
You see Christian, God is always making sure that your eyes are on him at all times. He wants you to relay on him, not on other people, as I did with my loved one, I put that person in the place where they didn't belong. I thought of them always, and their name was the first to pass my lips often in the morning...so God took that person from me! I blame myself entirely, and as I turn my life back to God, I promise myself and God, I will never place a loved one in that place of importance again, cause I never again want to loose someone that special that way again! The faces of my dead and alive lost loved ones haunt my sight when my heart is sad, I can see them smiling, and sometimes I still can't believe they are gone, that I will see them again soon, and not never again as it is.
Christian, when you loose someone special, it will be hard! But you can stay focused on God, and the burden will lighten under his mercy! Call out to him in times of trouble! If the faces of lost loved ones fade, they are supposed to, but don't try to hard to remember, cause if you will see them again, that is a surprise for the future, one that only God can tell! Thank you for reading and God Bless!